1. College Tours required to Visit the Taxidermy Room in Bi Hall
Did you even know there was such a place!
2. Rhinestone Ceilings and Disco-ball Lights
Q for Ron: How much must a hypothetical alumni donate in order to get such a demand met?
3. Special Collections: Books that have been checked out by Middlebury Failures and Criminal Alumni
4. Tuesday Tea Party
Like Language Tables this would be required. The curriculum would include drinking games with tea, musical chairs, and a costume chest.
5. Lecture Series: Hipster vs Bro; breaking down the divide
6. Midd-Rides gets painted glow-in-the-dark
Before I came to Midd, getting into a white van driven by a stranger at 1am was considered dangerous. I get the whole “taking it back,” but maybe white vans just need to come to terms with being the vehicle of rapists. I also think day-glow paint would substantially increase your excitement at spotting a Midd-Ride.
7. College Pet (and not a panther)
Remember Kindergarten? The gerbil you almost killed after learning valuable lessons in responsibility and friendship? I vote Middlebury adopts a Slow Loris. (They emit poison from their elbows, but they’re just so cute)
8. Mystery Meat Major
This idea comes from a friend, but imagine it: The ULTIMATE liberal arts major. You need 15 classes (we’ll make them discussion seminars) and going into it you have no idea what class or which teacher, but you do know it will be the most mysterious seminar of your life! Unless you hate it. Then you can probably switch to English after Junior Year.
9. Rent a Spinny Chair for your dorm room
How do you study on this spindly wooden thing you call a desk chair?
10. Take Your Shirt off