College is coming. I know this because Middlebury remembered I was on their mailing list. So as I plan again for a semester of personal growth and academic resolution I thought I would share another edition of assorted ideas for Middlebury (that I will never turn into an actual proposal). Feel free to steal my ideas, add your own, and maybe actually accomplish them. Or just swear that you’ll spend Saturdays in the library and stop ordering grill delivery. Sure…
1.Zombie Army Recruiting Booth at Student Fair
Sponsored by Middlebury ROTC (do we even have one?)
2.Spend 24 hours at the Farmers Diner
and possibly write a provoking think piece
3.Dress up in a tuxedo and play the grand piano during Proctor Dinner Hours
also hire a sultry lounge singer in a red dress to croon along
4.Stage a gigantic battle on batell beach: Confederates vs. Naavi (costumes required and followed by a revolutionary thanksgiving party in Atwater suites)
Hopefully this will upstage the Atwater-dining-hall-riot scandal of 2010
5.Attend Dungeons and Dragons hour at Isley Public Library (Tuesday 9/7 at 3pm).
Also go play with the sand art in the children’s section.
6.Throw an “Ikea” party at the Mill.
Costumes include: elaborate blueprints, modular storage units, Vikings aka “Swedish headquarters personal”
7.Put these decals on all Middlebury College admissions signs:
8.Realize that my Middlebury Bucket List resembles that of an antisocial 8 year old with a rolly backpack.
Here’s to a new year and many more unfeasible resolutions!