Because you weren’t getting anything done tonight…

You’ve exhausted FML and MLIA. You’ve mastered StumbleUpon, and you can only stalk Facebook for so long…

Therefore I present to you: Dear blank, please blank.

My personal favorite:

"I'm melting!"

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic.

And then this one is just wrong…

Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?

Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear Middlebury,

If you were being productive, I’m sorry.

Sincerely, Audrey and Dear blank, please blank.