Therefore I present to you: Dear blank, please blank.
My personal favorite:
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic.
And then this one is just wrong…
Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
If you were being productive, I’m sorry.
Sincerely, Audrey and Dear blank, please blank.