The results are in! The College announced today that it has decided on the recipients of the prestigious Benedict Arnold Fellowship, which allows Midd students to pursue independent projects with funding from the College. We’ve decided to honor both the successful applicants and the close seconds in each category. You can read the official press release here.
The winning proposal combined College and state policy goals. The New Start Initiative will create a team of Middlebury students, administrators, and local business and political figures to organize the acquisition of Vermont Yankee by Middlebury College. Vermont Yankee had been looking for a buyer, and as the College completes its recovery from the recent financial slowdown, the administration has been looking for new ways to invest and diversify. The Initiative would also work with the newly-formed Nuclear Decathlon team.
2nd place: Secede from the Union. (Application withdrawn.)
Deflate.org: a nonprofit devoted to pessimism about the environment. Instead of describing the project myself, I’ll quote the student in charge, Erika Gussi ’13, who explained it best:
“With all the negative rhetoric about obsessing over the climate, and all the positive rhetoric about reversing global warning, we started to worry too much was being lost in the spin. [Deflate believes] in giving people the straight truth, and that truth is we’re all screwed. Who knows? Maybe if we depress people enough, they’ll consume less food or leave their houses less. But if it doesn’t work, it won’t really make a difference anyway. So it’s a win-win. Or a lose-lose.”
After hiring a Web designer, Deflate will convert their remaining Fellowship money into cash and use it for insulation.
2nd place: Burn 20,000 hay bales, then buy carbon offsets, then burn the offsets, then offset them.
DECISION STILL PENDING. The winning proposal was a plan to provide the College with cheap “replacement dishes” and to repair dorm damage at low rates. However, the project was pulled from the running after whistleblowers on Midd Confessional revealed that the students involved were simply stealing dishes and lightbulbs and reselling them to the administration. Yet another example of Midd Confessional’s trailblazing, up-to-the-minute journalism.
2nd place: Photoshop other colleges’ names onto old Middlebury promotional materials.
The Fellowship Committee went ahead and gave the award to Jimmy Wong ‘10. Dreamy!
2nd place: The Allen Jokers produce a new mixtape, pledge to be “hater-neutral by 2015.”