Lesbihonest: Threesomes, foursomes and moresomes

The characters of Y Tu Mamã También become personal

At the turn of the year I habitually find myself scurrying to find a resolution that, if properly followed, will make me a more wholesome, healthier person.  In doing so I end up creating a list of activities and habits I wish to do away with; I decide that the only way to be a better me is if I restrict myself from activities I normally derive pleasure from.  Less sugar.  Less red meat.  Less sitting on my ass.

This year I took a different approach to these lists.  I pondered ways in which I, and others with the same goals, can achieve what I want without having to follow the same conventional, boring path. If I want to elevate my heart rate more during the week, who says I need to go to the gym to do so?  Unfailingly sex came to my rescue.  Who says exercising does not, or cannot happen in the bedroom?  Plus, with the winter weather becoming colder and crueler, why schlep to the gym when you can stay in the comfort of your room and still have the company of others.  Exercise becomes Sexercise.

As I mentioned in my last post “Lesbihonest: It’s time to acsexsorize!” I am writing this three-part series to offer readers suggestions of how to create a spark within themselves or their relationships.  Previously, I shared different toys and foods that can be used as a sexy complement to Friday Fun.  This article focuses on how people can make their sex lives more active, healthy, and intriguing.  Although sex with one partner naturally has all of these elements, threesomes bring it to a whole different dimension. One more person may not seem significant, but in this case the third person is the charm.

Threesomes
Threesomes are notorious for being, well, notorious.  The idea of a threesome is particularly appealing today, as pop culture has helped to advertise the allure of the ménage à trois.  In Love Actually, Colin Frissell achieves the American Dream when he shares a “crowded and sweaty” bed with four girls who “can’t even afford pajamas.”  Then there is “Last Friday Night,” when Katy Perry apparently had her own ménage à trois.  The list continues: from Gossip Girl to Y Tu Mamã También and Sex and the City to the L Word, Hollywood has officially endorsed the threesome.

While having a threesome with any of the aforementioned characters may be a bit farfetched, it is still entirely possible in your own cramped dorm room. If you look for it, you will find that all sorts of people are interested in partaking too.  Shedding the garments becomes ultra arousing when it is a three-person task, whether between three individuals or a couple with an accomplice.  The idea of a threesome is electrifying, but the logistics can be a bit difficult, not only in initiating one, but also in determining whether or not you feel ready.

Three-ways have many benefits, which I will praise soon, but they also have their complications.  If you are in a relationship it is vital that both you and your significant other are aware of, and comfortable with, one other’s desires before the act occurs. Above all you must know why it would be beneficial for another person to share in your sex life.  If you are in a monogamous relationship, remember that opening your sex life does not equate to being in an open relationship.  Threesomes can be tricky because one or more parties involved may start to harbor feelings of jealousy or feel threatened.  Communicating openly and establishing expectations is the best way to keep your relationship hot and healthy.  After all, at the end of the night the third party will go away and it will just be the two of you left in bed.

So, how do you initiate a three-way?
There is no single answer to this question. Initiating a threesome can be as varied as what happens once it begins. Three friends find themselves cuddling in bed and soon after are doing much more. A couple gets down on the dance floor and an interested third party joins in.  A couple compiles a list of who they find most attractive, narrow it down, and chase around the person of interest in hot pursuit.  Remember, having a threesome is much easier if there are two people on board looking for a third person, rather than searching for two people at once.  Sure, in this case being in a relationship helps, but it is not impossible if you are single.  Consult your friends. Go to parties you may not otherwise go to.  Check out classmates.  Most importantly, do not give up!

Why have a threesome?
Many couples find they desire one another more after they invite another person into their bed.  There is something oddly alluring about watching your partner being pleased by as welling as pleasuring another person.  Furthermore, if the other person departs after the evening’s events, the sexual interactions between the couple become only sexier and more intimate.  On the other hand, if you are single, why not participate in such a sexual act?  You must be comfortable and confident with hooking up with both partners, but the no-strings-attached sex can leave you satisfied and fulfilled.

If you are full of questions check out: Vicki Vantoch’s The Threesome Handbook. It outlines proper three-way etiquette, gives advice about how to openly communicate, and offers techniques to ensure everyone has an enjoyable evening.

Also recommended: Savage Love, a blog by Dan Savage, discusses the merits and shortfalls of threesomes and answers questions by (bi)curious readers.

Foursomes and Moresomes
While threesomes seem to be the Holy Grail of sexual encounters, orgies are a relative afterthought. They occur perhaps less frequently and are seen by many as less attainable.  I would argue that is not the case.  Much like threesomes you would be surprised to find how many people are looking to diversify their sexual experiences.  The difficulty with orgies, however, is that they are dependent upon a larger number of people.  This means that environmental factors play a greater role than the desire of two or three people.

The spontaneity of group sex is what makes it so special and so…hot.  There is no specific recipe to a great orgy, but a group of people who are sexually charged and eager to explore and be explored by multiple partners is certainly important.  Similar to a threesome, the initiation of this event can be tricky.  A great strategy for those of you wanting to have an orgy is to host a party in a house with bedrooms, or at least rooms that provide enough privacy from the rest of the party.  When the night is in full swing, migrate your way into the room with others who feel the spark—things will progress from there.

That everyone can participate to their own level of comfort is the beauty of group sex.  There is no pressure for equal participation from all members; whether you are a seasoned marathoner or this is your first hurdle, moresomes can be enjoyed by everyone.

Let’s be honest- Sexorcising is a three for one deal: you get a good work out, you are not alone, and you feel damn good.

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One thought on “Lesbihonest: Threesomes, foursomes and moresomes

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